It seems like we, as humans, will very quickly become attached to something that gives us even a slight hint of satisfaction or joy.

Sometimes, we derive odd thoughts about those things or even convince ourselves into believing weird stories or fantasies rolling around in our minds.

In short, we fall in love too quickly with things or people.

Maybe it's our nature to think that we must have these attachments towards these things or people. Maybe we grow so attached to the raw emotion that occurs with the item, person, or action and completely wrap our lives around it so we can feel gratification all the time.

But, when the happiness does subside, where does that leave us? Broken, feeling alone, and miserable, usually.

As I sit here, pondering whether to cut deeper or pull the sword out of the sleeve and just run it through my chest, a constant reminder of a quote echoes, "Do not fear death, but instead fear having not lived at all."

So I don't cut deeper, or take the sword and run it through. So I don't have the conviction to take a gun to my head and pull the trigger. What's worse living now that not living at all?

I may feel pain, alone, and sometimes even get those slight tinges of happiness now and again, but they continue to keep me alive. Why? Cause it's at least something instead of nothing.

I don't regret living. I don't regret how I've lived so far.

Still...having someone to hold in my arms, not even having to say a word, just letting me feel the comfort of their embrace and soft, gentle breathes, would help give me a reason to live other than just for the sake of living.

And I sit here laughing at myself, saying, "One could only dream, can't they?"